The Flat Irons ~ Boulder, Colorado

Winter Greetings dear HSPs….

I’m writing  to let you know there is still time to register for one of my Winter HSP Teleclasses.  In fact, these teleclasses will have an on-going registration process ~ where you sign up to be on a waiting list ~ and once we have enough participants our class will be a go!  It usually doesn’t take very long to have a teleclass be a “go” because I allow them to proceed with a small number of participants.  Why?  Because I actually enjoy small teleclasses and the intimacy they provide.  So, if the dates for the Winter 2012 HSP Teleclasses do not work for you, simply go to www.HSP_Teleclasses@yahoo.com and enter the teleclass you are interested in as the subject line.  You will be contacted with the dates for the next teleclass of your interest.  (Note:  There is an underscore _ between HSP and Teleclasses in the email address above.)

Here are the teleclasses offered February and March 2012:

Saturday, February 18 and 25
Facilitate Your Own HSP Empowerment Group

Saturday, March 10, 2012 ~
 Knowing When, If and How to Share Your HSP Trait

Saturday, March 17 and 24, 2012
HSP-Myers Briggs Teleclass
(Payment due February 17 & class size limited)

The 24th HSP Gathering Retreat – June 7-11, 2012 near Santa Cruz, California
 The Registration Form for the 24th HSP Gathering Retreat is now up on my website.   Please go to www.lifeworkshelp.com for more information and to download a registration form.   Note:  It might help to think of a HSP Gathering as a “vacation destination” of sorts ~ spending four days and nights in a beautiful nature-oriented setting, all meals included,  with beautiful people enjoying experiential educational

topics and activities to help you thrive as a HSP.  Sharing a room makes it all the more affordable ~ and trust me ~ there is always plenty of space for solitude and the sleeping rooms are designated as “quiet zones.”

All for now…. stay tuned for an article I’m working on exploring the HSP-Non-HSP Relationship…coming soon.

With all the best HSP wishes,

Jacquelyn

Wisdom from Einstein which many HSPs already know

Part One:   Saturday, March 17, 2012 ~ 10:00 – 11:30 am MST
Part Two:  Saturday, March 24, 2012 ~ 10:00 – 11:30 am
For time zone information: http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/
(payment due by Feb 17, 2012)

In this teleclass you will learn why:

• Many HSPs may have felt they were swimming upstream from the dominate culture;
• HSPs may feel especially challenged to accomplish the goals most important to them;
• There may be more Extravert HSPs than we previously thought;
• There is no such thing as being “right in between” two preferences such as the J and P or E and I; and why this often indicates some sort of turmoil or transition between two preferences;
• Understanding your least preferred function (the inferior function) is crucial to what Carl Jung called “full type individuation;”
• The first 12 years of life may have erroneously influenced your Myers Briggs type;
• We need all 16 types and why HSPs need non-HSPs and vice versa;
• Your family of origin or school experience may have erroneously influenced your authentic self; and
• HSPs are often striving toward what Carl Jung has called “full type individuation” and your authentic self

How the HSP-Myers Briggs Teleclass works:
Your payment is needed no later than February 17, 2012 in order to give us enough time for the mail exchange. The payment link and how to register is listed below. This teleclass has two parts and will take place on the following dates and times:

Part One: Saturday, March 17, 2012
10:00 – 11:30 am – Mountain Standard Time
After learning about the 8 preferences and what they measure, AND how they overlap the HSP trait, you will self identify your MBTI type. We will use the statistically valid and reliable 93 question inventory for final clarification.
Time: About 1.5 hours – with a break in between

Part Two: Saturday, March 24, 2012
10:00 – 11:30 am – Mountain Standard Time
You will learn about the Dominate, Auxiliary, Tertiary and Least Preferred functions of your type as identified in Part One. This is perhaps one of the most overlooked, yet crucial aspects to learning about type and how to apply it in your life. Time: About 1.5 hours – with a break in between

Once your payment is received,  the 93 question MBTI instrument, along with instructions for completing will be mailed to you. You return it to me for scoring no later than March 12, 2012. Your handout package, which will be mailed separately after the teleclass will include:

Intro to your Type
Type & Organizations
At Your Best; Characteristics
Emotional Intelligence
Hierarchy of Functions & Their Applications
Type & Careers
Stress & the Inferior Function & How to return to Equilibrium
Following Your Spiritual Path
Communication with Other Types
Working within a Team

Cost: $149 which includes the extensive handout package and the 3 – 3.5 hour group consultation time.

• If you are International, please add an additional $10 for international mailing rates.

• If you have attended a HSP Gathering Retreat before you get to save an additional 10% making your total $134.00.

To Register:
Go to this payment link:
http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/pay.htm
Click on the Teleclass link, and enter the amount due
Remember to include your name and mailing address

In this teleclass you will learn:

• The (8) most important questions to ask yourself before facilitating your own group
• Three specific purposes of the HSP Empowerment Group Model
             1. Research      2. Service      3. Advocacy
• The specific tools you will need for this model
           1. Weekly Research Sheet    
• Top three things to make your group successful
• Three things that may hurt your group’s success
• Norms that make your group successful
• Brief overview of the ‘facts’ HSP trait is based on

• Bonus Handouts:
o A list of eight specific skills, with purpose and examples, you might need to utilize during the course of your group
o Link to a past HSP Empowerment Group “collection booklet”
o Example of a promotional flyer for attracting HSPs to your group

To Register:
Go to this payment link:
http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/pay.htm
Click on the Teleclass link, and enter the amount due
Cost: $150

In this teleclass you will learn the importance of:

• Knowing WHEN, IF and HOW to Share Your HSP Trait ~ and to whom
           o A short, medium and extended version of sharing your trait
• Self-awareness through SBCA: Stop, Breathe, Connect, Act
• Identifying your Stage of Cultural Awareness & Acceptance
• Identifying your HSP needs and your responsibility in meeting them
          o How safe is your environment
          o Understanding Inner & Outer Circle Acquaintances

To Register:
Go to this payment link:
http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/pay.htm
Click on the Teleclass link, and enter the amount due
Cost: $59

Thanksgiving is here once again. I love this time of year. It allows time to pause and reflect on the many things I am grateful for ~ one being the HSP Gathering Retreats™. It has been a great privilege to have created the HSP Gathering Retreats with Elaine Aron back in 2001. I don’t think Elaine nor myself had any idea back in 2000 that eleven years later we would still be involved and enjoying our time at these unique gatherings of highly sensitive people.

Jacquelyn & Elaine, Santa Barbara, Sept 2011

The excitement I felt back in 2000 is the same excitement I feel today as plans for the 2012 and 2013 HSP Gatherings begin to take form. Although challenging and over stimulating (in a good way) I love providing opportunities for HSPs to learn, grow and share their wisdom with one another in unique settings across the US, Canada and Europe. I love receiving letters like the one from  Arlette of Jericho, NY sharing her personal growth journey after attending two HSP Gatherings. It is these stories of empowerment that keep me motivated and bring the greatest joy.   Are all the HSP Gathering Retreats totally wonderful?  Well, it depends upon who you ask.  Read my disclaimer about this at the end of Arlette’s letter to me.

Meanwhile in this issue of HSP Highlights & Insights, you will find:

(1)  Highlights from the 22nd and 23rd HSP Gathering Retreats

(2)  My Top Ten HSP Self-Care Suggestions

(3)   My Top Ten Reasons to have a HSP Dyad Partnership

(4)   Information about these teleclasses:
January 14 1nd 21
A HSP-Myers Briggs Teleclass
February 2012
Learning to Facilitate Your Own HSP Empowerment Group
March 2012
Knowing When, If and How to Share Your HSP Trait

(5)  Tentative dates for the 2012 and 2013 HSP Gathering Retreats:

Finally, please know I am thankful for each and every one of you and look forward to seeing you again or meeting you for the first time at a HSP Gathering Retreat.

And since it is Thanksgiving, I can’t end without sharing my favorite gratitude quote from Melody Beattie:

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough,  and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to  clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.        ~ Melody Beattie

 With love and gratitude,
Jacquelyn

Arlette sharing during Creativity Night; Santa Barbara, Sept 2011

(Scroll down for Jacquelyn’s disclaimer.)

Dear Jacquelyn,
I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you for doing these Gatherings. I know the tremendous work & energy that it entails. It would have created tremendous anxiety in me to even think of taking on such a project. However, at any future Gatherings that I attend, I will always be happily available to lend a helping hand with whatever you need, but not with computers & electronics.[Smile !].

I really like the format of the Gathering; you intuitively know how to make it work for everyone. I think we get more out of these Gatherings than can be fully explained.

• Could it be the positive collective energy from everyone present?

• The comments, ideas & experiences that are shared, that touches on something in us?

• Something we identify with? Something that resonates within us? A sort of “knowing”?

Somehow, we do learn or get “something” from the comments & interactions with each other; maybe we see ourselves reflected in someway in each of us.

I saw a little of myself in some of the introverts — how timid I was years ago, and how I have overcome some of that, & I saw how empowered others were: some out spoken & some quietly speaking & living their truth, and many of those things were a revelation in my life.

I feel that my knowledge & wisdom has increased in many ways although I cannot put it all into words. I feel different inside. I feel that I have gained an insight about the trait & about myself that probably would not have occurred, or it would have taken much longer to occur if I had not attended the two Gatherings I have.

I have a lot less anxiety. I feel more sure about myself. I can finally say to myself now that “nothing is wrong with me.” To say those words and to actually come to believe them has been very empowering for me, and that happened for me at this 23rd Gathering in Santa Barbara.

I want to continue to learn & grow more confident in myself. I have much more work to do: reading, learning and interacting, but from now on I will continue to appreciate every step of my journey.

Thanks to Elaine Aron & to you Jacquelyn, I will continue to thrive.
Arlette, Jericho, New York
Past HSP Gathering participant:
Colorado 2009 and Santa Barbara 2011

DISCLAIMER:  Are all the HSP Gathering Retreats totally wonderful?  Well…the answer is no, not necessarily, although they are all wonderful ~albeit challenging ~ to me.   They are all uniquely different  and this uniquenss depends upon the individuality of the participants in attendance.  I have found that, generally speaking, what one takes home from a HSP Gathering is reflected by the energy they bring to it.

 There have been a few gatherings in which, just like in the ‘real’ world, conflict has been present.  Personally, I have learned to  see conflict as a normal part of growth and development.   This is why another motto has become a regular part of the HSP Gatherings:   “Trust the process, even when feeling uncomfortable or vulnerable, always asking “What am I learning from this?”

I love what my  co-host Ane Axford  shared after the 21st HSP Gathering Retreat in Andover, MA in May of 2011.

Jacquelyn, Ane and Jackie

 “What an unexpected experience of trusting the process and growing in ways that I never could have guessed. Thanks to all who participated in the Andover, MA gathering this past weekend for being so present with the unknown to bring forward questions that we don’t yet have answers to…so that we may answer them for ourselves and for all HSPs yet unempowered. What a truly intense experience of connection and love, for self first and therefore all. And, a special thanks to these co-hosts for holding that vulnerable space and doing their best to herd the cats. THANK YOU.”

Yes, sometimes facilitating a HSP Gathering Retreat is much like “herding cats.”  I also know the structure of these beautiful gatherings always holds the space for you (if open to it)  to be your authentic self, ask for what you need, and to trust the process.  When all is said and done, there is so much to be experienced and learned from just being “in process” with 20 or more  HSPs over the course of four days.  And as we know,  sometimes it takes weeks to actually process and integrate each teachable moment that occurred.   I hope you will have the opportunity to come and see for yourself.

Here are  my Top Ten  suggestions for HSP Self-Care

My Top Ten HSP Self-Care list is always shared with participants at the HSP Gathering Retreats. I am happy to share it here for those of you who have not been able to join us at a HSP Gathering.  Of course, there are many more self-care suggestions,  the least of which would include tips about diet, exercise and quality sleep.   I’m sure many of you can add to this list, so feel free to share your own suggestions in the comment section below.
1. Search for ways to live a balanced life, including physical, spiritual, occupational, social, emotional, relational, intellectual, and creative.  It helps to think of yourself as a ”finely tuned instrument” ~ when in tune this instrument can make beautiful music.  When out of tune… not so much.
2.  Find and practice a creative outlet such as journaling, painting, music, poetry, or photography.  This helps to express our deep perceptions of the world around us and is crucial in supporting our unique HSP selves.  Unexpressed emotions can create anxiety and tension in our bodies.  I think this is where we extraverted HSPs may have an advantage over introverts….it is easier for extraverts to express themselves verbally, so perhaps we hold less tension in our bodies?
3. Examine all your environments.   This includes work, home, relationships, family, friends, and geographical location. Become aware of those environments which are supportive of the HSP trait and those that are not. Protect yourself and set firm boundaries.  Carefully choose how much personal sharing you engage in with those who are not supportive of the trait, or  with those who are not inclined to learn more about it. This is about knowing “When, If and How to Share your HSP trait” something I have spoken about at the HSP Gathering Retreats, and will be offering in a future teleclass.

3. Seek employment which values not only who you are as a person, but your unique set of skills as well. This may mean taking a parttime ”craft” job which pays the rent and honors your self-care plan, while also allowing time for your authentic and passionate self outside of work. This may mean adjusting your budget to live on less.  HSPs do better when following this concept:  BE, Do, Have instead of the societal norm of DO, Have, Be.  Sadly, many Americans unconscious lifestyle choices lead them to a live a life of HAVE, DO, Be..thus living beyond their means and creating undue stress.  Refer to Dr. Barrie Jaeger’s concepts of drudgery, craft and calling in Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person.

4. Take a Values Assessment inventory, such as the Myers Briggs Personality Assessment  and/or the Enneagram.  Having a strong sense of self helps to ascertain what values are most important to you in your HSP life. Understanding and honoring your own priorities can help make adjustments to your own (or other’s expectations) of you, whether that be in the amount of money you make, or how you spend time in your daily life.

5. Spend time becoming aware of your unique needs – adopt a motto from the HSP Gathering Retreats “Focus on Needs, Not Approval.” Ask your loved ones to do the same. It is an amazingly freeing concept that has worked well in my family. Identifying your needs serves as a guideline for setting healthy boundaries – an absolute must for we HSPs!

HSP Gathering, Santa Barbara, Sept 2011

6. Seek out like minded friends or community to be with. Isolation, or being invisible, is the bane of an HSP’s existence. Find someone with whom you can share your keen observations and depth of perception with – preferably another HSP. This works well because our depth can sometimes unduly burden our non-HSP friends to “get” us. The many on-line HSP message boards can sometimes serve this need.  See Top Ten Reasons to have a HSP Dyad Partnership.

7. Find your optimal level of arousal – being under stimulated leaves us bored and lethargic – being over stimulated is no fun, and increases the cortisol in our systems. Being outdoors in nature seems to be the optimal state of arousal for me – and it is also the place where I can find solace, wisdom and clarity.

8. Become intimately familiar with your current or past traumas – whether they be traumas with a capital “T” or traumas with a smaller ‘t’.  Remember for HSPs ~ any trauma can be deeply felt.   Seeking professional help may be necessary to assimilate this trauma and to heal fully.  I’ve found EMDR an especially helpful and efficient way to heal traumas.

9. Spend as much time as possible in nature…. and try to enjoy at least 10 minutes of this time in the sunshine.  This not only increases natural Vitamin D in our systems, but can also help increase our serotonin levels. Doing this in silence only adds to the pleasure.

Crested Butte, Colorado, Sept 2011

10. Find, cultivate and nurture your own unique spiritual life and practice. This could include yoga, meditation, prayer, walks in nature, or being part of a local church community your choosing. ( I need to spend at least 2 hours per week in nature – otherwise I start to feel off center. In the summer, I spend days in nature.)

Doing all of the above will eventually lead you on your own unique path of HSP self-care. It may look different for all of us, but self-care is of primary importance in thriving as a HSP.

Top Ten Reasons to Have a HSP Dyad Partnership©
by Jacquelyn Strickland, LPC and Molly Sheahan

Here is another top ten list that  is  shared at the HSP Gathering Retreats.  Many of you have asked that it be printed in my newsletter … so, here it is ~ a gift to you ~ with  my sincerest wish that you also have a HSP friend or connection  in your life with whom you can share a part of  life’s journey with.

Sunset at Horsetooth Reservoir, Ft. Collins, Colorado

1. The safety of the relationship provides us with a forum within which to fully “come out” and reveal ourselves as a highly sensitive person.

2. It provides us with validation and acknowledgment – allowing us to be seen, heard and understood.

3. It relieves pressure, tension and energy drain from not being authentically seen or heard in our daily lives.

4. It creates an avenue for fuller self-expression of our Spirit, including our emotions, imaginations, and perceptions, often leading us to wonderful (inner) places and (outer) possibilities never before revealed.

5. It provides us a place to share our vivid and often intense experiences of the world around us.

6. It focuses on our strengths, opens our heart and infuses us with a sacred innocence and joy.

7. It helps us move beyond blind faith to a feeling of “faith like prayers just heard.”

8. It can take the pressure off others, especially our non-HSP partners or friends, who may find it tiring to go the depths we naturally find energizing, nurturing and supportive.

9. It can keep us focused on what really matters and away from irrelevant details which can ultimately drain our energy.

10. It can provide us with a mirror which allows us to fully see, hear and feel our own energies which can then serve as validation and clarification for the depth of our perceptions.

.

This list comes from my personal experience and was co-created with my special HSP friend and  Dyad Partner, Molly.  Many of you met Molly at the Sequoia HSP Gathering Retreat in the fall of 2004 and also at the Colorado HSP Gathering in Colorado in the fall of 2007.  This picture is of a special (seasonal) monthly HSP activity:  watching the sun set and the moon rise from a favorite spot at Horsetooth Reservoir here in Ft. Collins, Colorado.

P.S.  It just dawned on me…these same top ten reasons are often experienced at the HSP Gathering Retreats !

The 23rd HSP Gathering Retreat was held September 1-5, 2011 at La Casa de Maria in Montecito, California. From California there were HSPs attending from: Irvine, Santa Monica, Moreno Valley, Santa Barbara, Sacramento & Oxnard. There were also HSPs attending from: Sun Lakes, Arizona; Jericho, New York; Boston, Massachusetts; New York, New York; Charlotte, North Carolina and Yellowknife, Northwest Territory, Canada  and Burleigh Heads, Australia.  The adjectives that describe this particular HSP Gathering for me were “sweet and good.”

Lovely place for an HSP group discussion, don't you think?

Elaine enjoying signing copies of her books

Here are a few highlights from the 22nd HSP Gathering Retreat 21-25 July 2011, Gaunts House, Dorset, England

Gaunts House...Where I could imagine "Mr. Darcy" from Pride & Prejudice walking cross the field

The 22nd HSP Gathering Retreat held 21-25 July at the historic Gaunts House in Dorset, England was truly an international affair. We had HSPs attending from Bowral, Australia; Amman, Jordan; Valladolid, Spain, and Colorado, USA.
From England there were HSPs attending from: Bollington, Cheshire; Cardiff, Cardiff; Bursledon & Southhampton, Hampshire; London, London; Didsbury, Middlesex; Abington, Oxfordshire; and Southhampton, Winchester.

Here an important lesson one HSP learned: ”I learned that SELF-CARE is essential to my well-being and it’s TIME to practice it DAILY! Also that I have an amazing sense of humor when I am happy & relaxed; that it’s okay to ask for help; and that I am stronger than I imagined with many talents to share.”

Lovely HSPs in Dorset, England

Creativity Night is always such a fun time!