West Coast 2001 Breakout Sessions

Comments And Notes From Some Of The Break-Out Sessions

Sensitive Men
facilitated by Spencer Koffman

This group shared how rare and how great it was to converse at a deeper level with other sensitive men. And for most, it was the first time they had done so. Many in the group said that while growing up they had not fit the stereotype definition of being male. Many had female friends, but few if any male friends, and most had never had a chance to "bond" with other men.

Maintaining Optimal Arousal: The HSP Good Life
facilitated by Jacquelyn Strickland

What is the "HSP Good Life" anyway? This group thought an "Empowered HSP" might enjoy this good life by...

knowing and owning a strong sense of self-identity, self-love, and self-acceptance.
living in balance and living authentically.
having found a spiritual path to cultivate a sense of joy, awe, happiness, and simplicity.
realizing the "real" world (U.S. culture) is usually not satisfying, so you learn to live within your own self-defined value system.
knowing it is okay to ask for what you need; recognizing your needs sooner, thus being out of balance for a shorter period of time.
creating a supportive and non-judgmental environment in which to live and work.
having time for your unique spiritual and contemplative time.
knowing the difference between what you think, feel, and need, and trying to integrate those into an action to take care of yourself.

We thought Unempowered HSPs might...

still try to fit a round peg into a square hole.
deny their sensitivity or see it as a flaw.
not know what they need.
be hard on themselves for not fitting in.
have not yet tried to create a new life with new values and their own self-defined standards for success.

To maintain optimal arousal we envisioned HSPs as a beautiful, unique flower anxious to bloom each spring. In order to bloom and share our beauty with the world, we need to become a master gardener and create an imaginary fortress around our flower. We then work to stay aware of what inputs may damage our self-esteem, trigger old hurts or wounds. Checking this fortress each day is like lovingly caring for your own flower garden. Activities that make your fortress strong would include reframing, journaling, and practicing self-love and self-care. One can build a strong inner fortress from which to go out into the world, being aware of how to maintain a more optimal state of arousal.

Close Relationships
facilitated by Jay Lewis, Ph.D.

Knowing who you are and becoming that person is most important for HSPs, and especially so when in intimate relationships. In other words, be yourself, or the relationship will surely not work. Weed out candidates that you might not want to be with anyway. Be aware of what each of you bring to a relationship and strive for equal value. The HSP in Love is a great book for relationships... a must read.

Work: The Need for Psychic Income
facilitated by Barrie Jaeger, Ph.D.

Work and HSPs don't always get along. It's like a merry-go-round that makes us dizzy and we don't want to get on. For Barrie's upcoming book on HSPs and work, she has identified three distinct types of work:

Drudgery: like a ball and chain; feels boring, painful, like you are stuck. Often a "them versus us" feeling... like you are wasting your talents and time.

Craft: a neutral place, utilizing skills and intellect, although not necessarily your "gifts." A much better place than drudgery.

Calling: Probably the best place for HSPs and usually where they end up if they follow their true selves... This work has purpose and meaning; includes your values; makes you feel creative, alive; wake up with ideas... A path toward self-actualization.

The "psychic income" (as opposed to monetary income) HSPs need from their job includes having a healthy physical and social environment, flexibility and freedom, the chance to serve others, some challenge and fun, plus meaning, control, and a sense of achievement.

Art Therapy and Expression
facilitated by Marcia Norris

Using a series of exercises, participants were encouraged to shift back and forth from left-brain to right-brain and begin processing what we'd heard and felt in other sessions. Our group began by establishing that this was not a place to make "art" but rather a place to express and explore the ideas and feelings brought up by conference topics. Once we dismissed our inner critics, we got down to enjoying ourselves.

Drawing a Life Pie helped us visualize the parts of our lives that were most fulfilling. We each illustrated the following mantra: "Treating myself like a precious object makes me strong" and took our piece home for inspiration. We wrote about ourselves as if we were a chosen color. Some drew pictures of doing something they'd never allow themselves to do in real life. Others made a list of things they love to use as happiness touchstones, or made a mandala collage illustrating how they imagine their ideal life.